Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dear Santa from Paige & James

This was Paige's letter to Santa this year. She had a tall order, and keep in mind this is one of several versions (some as early as September). I think next year we might limit her to the top 3 of her endless lists.

James, on the other hand, just wants a dinosaur, easy peasy - this is one boy who won't be disappointed on Christmas morning.

A friend of mine sent this to me, you've probably read it by now, but if not... I thought the moms out there would like to know they are not alone or at least have a good laugh - Maren 

p.s. I have video to upload but my parents internet is about as fast as the pony express.

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on 
demand, visited their doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases 
of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground I 
was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to 
write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the 
laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in 
the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I 
already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong 
enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. 
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my 
last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like 
fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a 
television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a 
refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to 
talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to 
boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three 
pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the 
living room" and "Take your hands off your brother/sister," because my voice 
seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the 

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to 
brus h my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating 
food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam 

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the 
holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It 
will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my 
children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the 
bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under 
the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and 
remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you 
don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs 
on the carpet.

Yours Always, 


P.S. One more can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
children healthy, safe, and young enough to believe in Santa.

Friday, December 11, 2009

2009 Christmas Card attempts

The final chapter of the Buchanan saga

It's official - we heard the heartbeat on Wednesday - this is the cause of my nauseated state of being 24/7. There is actually a little peanut causing all this havoc on my body. Everything seems to be going really well. My progesterone levels were low so they put me on a supplement and I'm trying to live with the side effects while Jason claims there are no big changes (I always break out crying, right? - ha, ha, ha)

Actually, it does have a slew of side effects, but I seem to be affected by 3: sleepiness, irritability, and anxiety. Serious anxiety over the littlest dumbest things (makes me crazy) and it sucks that my one good quality (patience) is in short supply. Yesterday during preschool my kids were looking at me like 'why does she think she has to bribe us for every little thing?' - please, please, please put your shoes on, I will give you an m&m - come on just help pick up, I will give you and m&m - poor things. Luckily it will just be 'til I reach 13 weeks and the placenta can kick in and do it's job.

So mark you calendars - the official due date is JULY 15th (but keep in mind NONE of my kids came on time... ) so let's really plan for JULY 22nd, a week late is about right on for my babies.

p.s. and yes this one will be a surprise as well... we will probably let our kids name it (after the first couple we lost interest). Paige has already picked out Gavin for a boy and she said Lilly for a girl which is cute, but Jason really liked Eleanor, (however you spell it - Elenore, Elanore) when we were trying to name Paige and I'm coming around. We could always call her Elle or Elli.